A Blog of no Discernible Credibility

The point of this blogging project is two-fold. The obvious point is to present anecdotes about my life in an interesting and witty way, proving that a good writer can write about anything.

The other point is to get me back into the habit of writing every day.

Sadly, there is nothing remotely anecdotal about today at all. I did absolutely nothing.

Ok, one thing might my salvagable from this ho-hum of a day.

I got a call from the public library stating, in a very mechanical way, that my book I requested was in and being held. I assumed it was "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" so I drove down to get it and turn in my old book, Syrup (fantastic!).

I get down there, and am immediately informed that the library is closing in 5 minutes (yes, I know), and ask the librarian to get my book. She asks my last name and I tell her and she looks among the vast sea of reserved books.

"Jennifer?" she says.

I am disappointed, because I assume that Jennifer Government, a book I requested for school in March and was forced to drive across town to find, came in, and there was nothing new for me. I told her I didn't need that book because I've already read it and she said:

"This is Dragon Ball Z..."

We stare at each other.

I realize a girl with my last name and the first name Jennifer reserved a dragon ball z book.

We had a good laugh about that, and, as it turned out, the book that had arrived for me was Will Grayson Will Grayson, by John Green and David Levithan!!

Not quite what I expected so far, and I admit there are subjects I'm generally uncomfortable with, the writers are still awesome and I am not able to put the book down.

Well, there was my ho-hum anecdote. Time for some ho-hum laundry.

KW.

Elementary School Carnival

Fun things happened at the school carnival today. Including being one of the taller people there.

These are the things that I learned:

1. Fountain pour your sand candy, or spit will make the sand stick to the tube. :-(

2. If you run in the dark in flip flops, you may run into things.

3. Two tickets will not buy you any food.
3b. It will buy you water.

4. Fireworks should be foregoed to pay for new grass not full of stickers!

5. A belt CAN be worn as a necktie.

6. McDonalds tastes fantastic at 10pm.

7. Cake Walks are Rigged

8. Children throwing those small Gun Powder Pop-Its are dangerous...

9. But not as dangerous as a certain High School Freshman.
(stupid freshman...)

Thus ends my witty lists of what I learned at the Elementary Carnival.

My Trip to Red Box

At what point after getting your liscense does the thrill of just running errands wear off?

I'm going to say the SECOND time you drive down to the Red Box when your tired within 10 minutes.

So, first off, don't drive in wedge heel flipflops. Just don't. It's really awkward. The pedals are abnormally far away and you have to curl your toes around the little thing to keep the shoe from sliding right off.

Ok, so I got past the shoes and headed down the road, so far so good. Until I realize, a block away, that I have to pee. Badly. Greaaaaaaaat. I continue driving, what else could I do? Thankfully, the Red Box is only a mile from my house, so I get there fairly quickly and park.

Side note: When parking at an angle, one tire hits the curb first, even if the other one doesn't look like it's going to.

So, I finally make it into the Red Box, remember to turn off my headlights (a story for another day) and trump into the store.

The box is empty.

The DVD is at home. In the DVD player.

Great job family. I didn't even watch this movie!

So, I call home, exasperated, to ask them to bring the movie outside to me. However my crappy phone, even with a full signal, which is rare, insists on saying CALL FAILED.

Then I drive home, park on the driveway, and knock on the front door to ask for the movie. I assumed this would be faster then running in the through the garage and back of the house. Wrong. Turns out no one listens until I knock the third time. Finally, I get the DVD and off I go again.

Mind you, by this time my "I have to pee RIGHT. NOW." situation has gone further downhill.
I drive a little slowly through the neighborhood as my CD player fails to get me to the right track (back TWO songs, not start the same one over), but I make it onto the road, having already listened to a third of the CD through this escapade.

I park a little better this time, but I lose my prime spot in the front row by the door. I sucessfully remove the DVD and drive home (next to idiots who can't properly use Turn Signals).

Gratefully, I arrive home, Turn off the headlights, and head straight for the bathroom.

Errands have indeed lost their charm...